my space, my self
Here we go for round two. I haven't blogged in almost a year.
There's questions in my mind that I cannot seem to make sense of. Two questions I have today are what and where is my space and who is my self?
It's difficult for me to answer these questions. I've struggled for the last 23 years of my life to make sense of who I am and where I belong. These two questions, I think, I will never be able to answer completely because I don't think the self is a static entity nor is a place of belonging. When I think about the dynamic flow of life--that life changes always--I think that maybe an essential quality of the multiverse is chaos. And somehow, through chaos, the human mind designs order.
I didn't sleep much last night. I don't feel the passion to write right now. But, I want to put into words some answers to my two questions.
Is it not that a place of belonging and a sense of one's self ar interdependent on each other? Isn't a sense of one's self needed to know where one belongs, and a sense of belonging needed for a sense of one's self? That may be the problem here. You can't really separate the two concepts in reality. For rhetorical purposes, maybe I should just try to see what I come up by separating the two ideas.
First, I'll start with the places I belong. I don't exactly know the places I belong. For a general answer, I know I must belong somewhere, as I was born here on this earth. I wouldn't be here if I didn't belong here. I think that this sense of belonging on this earth reflects a sense of accepting what is. I am here on this earth--a basic conclusion I accept. If I didn't accept it, I'd probably have bigger psychological problems than I already do. I used to wish some aliens like E.T. would come and take me away to their planet. I liked the earth as it is, but I didn't like how humanity behaved on the planet. I thought there were wiser, more spiritually-developed aliens out there who'd somehow come and get me and teach me to live and be peaceful on their planets. I didn't think my human kind could live in peace.
I will comeback to this. I need to get some sleep...
There's questions in my mind that I cannot seem to make sense of. Two questions I have today are what and where is my space and who is my self?
It's difficult for me to answer these questions. I've struggled for the last 23 years of my life to make sense of who I am and where I belong. These two questions, I think, I will never be able to answer completely because I don't think the self is a static entity nor is a place of belonging. When I think about the dynamic flow of life--that life changes always--I think that maybe an essential quality of the multiverse is chaos. And somehow, through chaos, the human mind designs order.
I didn't sleep much last night. I don't feel the passion to write right now. But, I want to put into words some answers to my two questions.
Is it not that a place of belonging and a sense of one's self ar interdependent on each other? Isn't a sense of one's self needed to know where one belongs, and a sense of belonging needed for a sense of one's self? That may be the problem here. You can't really separate the two concepts in reality. For rhetorical purposes, maybe I should just try to see what I come up by separating the two ideas.
First, I'll start with the places I belong. I don't exactly know the places I belong. For a general answer, I know I must belong somewhere, as I was born here on this earth. I wouldn't be here if I didn't belong here. I think that this sense of belonging on this earth reflects a sense of accepting what is. I am here on this earth--a basic conclusion I accept. If I didn't accept it, I'd probably have bigger psychological problems than I already do. I used to wish some aliens like E.T. would come and take me away to their planet. I liked the earth as it is, but I didn't like how humanity behaved on the planet. I thought there were wiser, more spiritually-developed aliens out there who'd somehow come and get me and teach me to live and be peaceful on their planets. I didn't think my human kind could live in peace.
I will comeback to this. I need to get some sleep...
posted by Kristen @ 3:49 AM
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